NASCAR: Why Is It Not Done on Thousands of Bicycles

Last week The Onion had a running gag that it was "sold to the Chinese" and all articles were written by staff as though they were official Chinese government proclamations about American culture.  While there were several things to chortle about, my favorite article was of course NASCAR: Why Is It Not Done on Thousands of Bicycles.

While the Onion is clearly taking a satirical pot-shot at the idea of bike commuting in large numbers, it also raises a side question about why is bike racing not nearly as popular a sport in America as car racing? 

I wish I had an answer, but I honestly find both events boring as all heck.  Feel free to drop your opinions in the comments section.